Practical Questions

Finding Answers in the Principles of Attitudinal Healing

What is it you really want out of life? Would you like to feel more fully alive with a new energy for living regardless of your age? Would you like to have less stress and fear in your life? Would you like to escape from emotional pain, depression, sorrow and anxiety so that you can have more consistently loving experiences with everyone including yourself? Would you like to learn to heal all of your unhealed relationships, without exception?

Would you like to learn more about how to let go of blame and guilt, shame and negative thinking, and to be more optimistic about your life and the world that you see? Would you like to learn how to let go of the painful past and live more consistently in the present? Wouldn’t you like to go through the rest of your life not hurting yourself or others by your thoughts or actions?

Would you like to feel less anger and learn how to be more forgiving to yourself and others? And would you like to learn how to let go of the self-imposed blocks that interfere with your experiencing your very best life, unconditional love, inner and outer success, freedom and personal growth?

If your answer is “yes” to these questions, then you can know for sure that this website was created for you and that by learning how to utilize the Principles of Attitudinal Healing can change your life. We invite you to consider joining an Attitudinal Healing Support Group either in person or online or initiating a new one yourself. See Starting AH Support Groups.




To give is to receive is based on the AH Principle that giving love and receiving love are one and the same.


The Law of Unconditional Love

The law of Unconditional Love does not acknowledge different kinds or degrees of love. It recognizes only Love that is total. It is not limited by time, and no one is excluded from it. It can only join, extend and expand. The law of Love teaches us that giving and receiving occur at the same time, and the more we give, the more we reinforce the reality of Love’s presence in our lives.

The Law of the Ego World   

The principle that many of us operate on, however, is quite different. It says that if we give to others, we will have less. The law of the World seems to be, “Get as much as you can, and hold on to it. And when things get really tough, always think of yourself first.”

This principle of giving, which is based on the perceptions of our ego, convinces us that some people are more worthy of love than others, and we can judge this by how they act and by what our eyes and ears tell us about them. Indeed, the ego persuades us it is our job to determine which people are safe to love and which ones are not, based on how they appear and act. This basis for giving would also have us believe that there are different kinds and degrees of love, and it is we who must decide who gets what kind of love in our various relationships.

In a world that believes in a past, present and future, giving and receiving cannot occur simultaneously. In the time-limited world of our ego, giving is usually conditional. This is another way of saying that giving depends on whether or not the person to whom we have chosen to give performs in a way we find acceptable. 

Attitudinal Healing is based on the concept that Unconditional Love is our natural state and that it is possible to clear and retrain our minds to give our Unconditional Love to everyone with no exclusions – it is only the form that differs and is appropriate to each situation.

Unconditional Love vs Conditional Love

According to the law of love, giving means that all of one’s love is extended with no expectations. It means the other person is under no obligation to return our love or to change in any way. Total giving means Unconditional Love. It is important to note, however, that Unconditional love does not mean supporting another person’s insane behavior. It is an internal state which has no specific behavior attached to it.

There are many of us who practice conditional love—an “I will love you if” kind of love that depends on the behavior and performance of others. The message that we send out frequently says, “If you fit into the pattern of expectations I have for you, I will love you.” So often what we really say to others is, “If you could just change this one thing, then I could love you completely.”

Many of us wish that our parents could have been different when we were growing up, and we may still be holding on to that wish – or still trying to change them. We wish they could have expressed their love for us in a different form - one we would have preferred. When we get caught up in these thoughts, it can be helpful to remember that our parents did the best they could for us at the time, based on the circumstances of their own life experiences.

No matter how we were brought up, or whether we feel our parents did or did not give us enough love, the truth of the matter is that to receive Unconditional Love, we must give it. And this is not only true of our relationships with our parents, but with all other relationships as well.